BLASPHEMY

[Mom thought that my most recent tour blog post might offend my apparently very religious grandparents (I didn't even know they went to church) so I'm editing it down and posting it in its entirety here instead.]

Whenever we’re loading into a new theatre and the pasta-shaped gobo lights are being focused, I make a passing mention of our lord and creator, the Flying Spaghetti Monster. I am disappointed by the sparseness of my Pastafarian brethren. The following is a dramatization:

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KEVIN
(Nonchalantly) Check out that gobo. It’s almost as if we’ve been graced by the noodly presence of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, albeit sans-eye-stalks.

LOCAL CREW-MEMBER
Mumblemumblesghettimonster? Haha generic polite laughter.

KEVIN
Ah, yes. Have you been touched by His noodly appendange?

LOCAL CREW-MEMBER
Mumblemumblenoodly appendage. That’s good. Mumble.

Kevin shakes head and walks away, disappointed. Local Crew-Member remains, incredulous.

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People are so quick to assume His Noodliness to be a joke. They do this because they fear Him, and they fear Him because they don’t understand him. But I assure you, friend, Pastafarianism is not to be understood. Just accepted.

For those of you that have not yet been touched by His noodly appendage, more information can be found at
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flying_Spaghetti_Monsterism

I hesitate to share this link because it asserts that Pastafarianism is a “parody religion,” by I assure you, the truth and beauty of His noodly presence is undeniable.


The current time is 7:54am. We’ve been at the theatre for two hours, and I have been awake for three and a half. Happy birthday to me! Really though, I’m fine with being up early. It just means I get to appreciate my birthday for three more hours than usual.I feel like a lot has happened in the past couple days, but when I sit down to write about it little feels noteworthy. How about a list of idiosyncrasies?-The Cerritos Center for the Performing Arts can transform into 7 or so different seating arrangements. Check it out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ySLMyAYwuFo-We have stayed at three La Quinta hotels in a row and their quality has been, in order: pretty bad, not so bad, kind of bad.-At yesterday’s lunch stop, I bought a monstrous bottle of Orangina, intending it to last me a couple days. It was empty by dinnertime.-Last night I washed two shirts in the sink so that I can wait until Phoenix to do a full load of laundry.-Tonight I will be celebrating my first birthday away from home. In Blythe, AZ.

I'm twelve years old. I'm TWENTY-EIGHT!!

Happy birthday to me. One more hour concludes my oddest and most anti-climactic birthday yet. Early waking, lots of driving, two shows. Tiring, but coo'.

We made a quick stop at Target today, and I spent a few minutes wistful in the Halloween decorations section. Luckily I'll get to have a pretty legit Halloween. I'll be with my aunt/uncle/cousins in Durango, CO, playing guitars and eating candy.

I haven't touched a guitar in hella days.

Being home will be nice.

Beeteedubs,

The first sentence on the Tabaluga Wikipedia article:

The little green Dragon Tabaluga is a cartoon character, who lives in the fictional place Greenland.

I just love that, according to Germany, Greenland is a fictional place.

Oh baby down on Dream Street.

I hate putting real-life effort into dream situations.

Last night I dreamt that we were taking Carly LaPlaca to buy books for her first day of 2nd grade. Except Carly was actually Sarah's younger sister. Alex was there too, but more as just a presence than a character. I remember him looming in the background of many scenes with a bowler and a drawn-on mustache, looking suspicious.

There was a specific author we were looking for, and I was supposed to suggest good titles to Carly, since I am apparently familiar with every Young Readers book sold by dream-book-stores. But lo, when I leaned in to look at the spines, none of them looked familiar. I remember being confused that illustrations supposedly of "Dunston the Dragon" were actually of Tabaluga, a little green dragon from a German children's show. I then proceeded to throw books off the shelves in a frenzy, trying in vain to find the right books for Carly LaPlaca-Rogers. I awoke breathing heavy with a real-life furrowed brow.

My brain and I aren't on good terms right now. When I sleep, it should just let me sleep.