Started last night, finished this morn

My brother and his girlfriend (and their dog) are finally actually moved out, and my mother and sister are up in Paradise for a few days to celebrate my grandma's birthday. This means that dinner tonight was just my dad and me.

Conversation covered the following topics:
-School
-Getting into schools
-Getting a job
-Studying
-Finishing school faster

I mentioned having an assignment due online at 8pm, and how I preferred having assignments due at the beginning of class so I can do them in the evening at my own pace instead of scheduling my afternoon around them.

"Couldn't you have done it yesterday or the day before?"
"I... yeah. It's just easier for me if it's due in the morning."
"You need deadlines."

Everything he says seems to come with an undercurrent of YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG and LET ME CORRECT YOU. His response to me not getting into UC Santa Cruz is thinking I should call the school, so they know how interested I am, and so I can see if they maybe still have some slots left in one of their departments. This is ridiculous and doesn't make any sense.

Further confusing the matter is the fact that he doesn't actually retain anything I tell him. He tells me almost every day that I need to set up an appointment with a counselor. My response for the past four days has been "I have one for next Thursday." He still says the same thing. Every day.

I went into college applications this year knowing I wasn't likely to get accepted anywhere, since my GE classes aren't complete. I applied to appease my parents, who think that my entire future hinges on getting accepted into a university as soon as possible. My dad has all these arguments that don't make sense and aren't actually based on anything, but he is so persistent about them. His own world-view is so narrow. He is convinced that there is a huge rift in society (his words) between people who have and haven't received a college degree. I don't know where he gets this information about "society" since he doesn't have ANY contact with anyone outside of his own family and his co-workers. If you look at my close friends and their families, you'll see a wide variety of education levels, and hey! we all get along! There is also no correlation between how happy and functional a family is and education and income level. Case in point: silent, stilted us.

That said, I do want to go to college. I crave knowledge and understanding, and the academic life appeals to me. I think that my dad sees the world as a set of dichotomies: successful/unsuccessful, progressive/regressive, educated/uneducated. He doesn't see any gray area in any of these, which is frustrating because I feel like the gray area is where I thrive. I don't hunger for affluence, but I do want to live comfortably. I care about the state of the world at large, but in a personal way, not in a political way. I am not a typical 4.0 student, but I will be educated. Occasionally, I guiltily wish that my family were less wealthy. I feel like if that were the case, after high school I would need to start supporting myself, and only I would be accountable for my actions. In the current set up, since my parents are paying for my education, I feel a need to appease them to some degree, but at the same time feel like it would be disrespectful (not just to them, but to anyone who isn't as privileged) for me to reject their help and take out a student loan or something.

On top of everything else is that when my mom isn't home, he seems so lonely. He walked by my room a few minutes ago, and saw that I was on the computer. "Whatcha doin'? Oh... Still working? I'm just watering the garden, then I think I'll get ready for bed." It had the same tone as a kid uncertainly asking an older sibling, "Wanna hang out?" My guilt and empathy always flare at moments like this, but then cool and freeze when I think of his lack of empathy. Any time we spend together is entirely on his terms, servicing his interests, and usually makes me uncomfortable. I have become the recluse of the family. I don't know that I have any other options, but feel loveless and unappreciative.

Les Petites Madeleines

My entire family is on one couch watching Chuck. Kensington and I are on the other couch translating Proust.

This is why I'm hot.

What does that even mean, anyway?

I just had a fifteen minute conversation with Cleverbot, trying to get him to say peen, and then I accidentally closed the window. FML.

Yesterday I looked at my reflection in a window as I was walking around school and thought I looked like a German exchange student. This is also how I feel about my passport photo. Weird.

Happy birthday, Sarah!




PEENPEENPEENPEENPEEN! Even Megan's in on this joke!


PEEN!

Kensington est très fier!

In honor of acing another French quiz, here is my essay for your viewing pleasure, translated into English with the help of babelfish.

The prompt:
Describe IN DETAIL the place where you live. Do you live in a house or in an apartment? In what city is it? How many rooms are there? What are the different rooms and parts of your home? What are the furnishings of each room? What else is there? What are your activities in the different parts of your home?

* * *
I live at a comfortable house of the town of Sunnyvale. They is seven-parts. I live with my parents, my sister, my brother, and our trios cats. I want to buy another cat, but my parents are afraid to have four cats.

We have two stays. In a stay, there are a carpet, a television, and a settee. A cat, Kensington, he adores this settee. I make my duties on this settee with Kensington. Kensington is very proud! The other stay has also a settee and a television, but there is no carpet. The cats do not like this stay.

The kitchen is beside the first stay. Thursday, I cook. What will I make for the dinner this evening? I do not know!

Also, we have a beautiful garden. The garden is where my brother made of the aerobique one. I do not make the aerobique one. I prefer render visit with my cats.

* * *

I am probably the cutest French student. Babelfish is probably the cutest online translator.

deepvoice

Been sick. Woke up congested.

I am thankful for

Chris Mitchell.

via facebook chat:

C: Kevin. Your music is lovely. I will get your EP in a music appreciating way, not a begrudging friend way.

K: Chris. :D you are a dear

C: I know

I am listening to this right now

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i3-i8rsAiPI

Do you know the Dodos. I feel like you would/should

K: i don't

but i like the waltziness and the chords, so far!

C: Lovely

I must away to an apple and cheese. See you at After Hours

Christopher is offline.

NO LIBERTIES.

Today in Anthropology, our frail-looking, tiny-voiced, Indian-accented teacher got fed up with ambient chit chat.

"Why do you do this? Are you like this in your other classes?"

Everyone of course fell silent then, for basically the first time. She really wanted an answer. She approached a single student.

"You. Why do you talk in my class? Why do you come to class if you are going to talk?"

I think most people would be humbled by this experience, or at least be annoyed/embarrassed enough to concede and do what she wanted. This b-hole, however, decided to argue that he wasn't even talking, and when that didn't work, that he at least wasn't talking while she was talking. Various annoyed mumbles of "god," "fuck," and "¡Dios mío!" ripple through the class, and when he still doesn't take the hint, "Just fuckin' man up and apologize or get out!"

A few scattered voices shout, "YEAH!"

I felt like I was being transported to an episode of Jerry Springer. So weird.

Overall the experience was pretty fucking dumb, but I enjoyed it for our teacher's adorable syntax:

" Why do some people take liberties in a class of this nature?"
"Why would you take liberties?"
"Don't think you can hide behind that pillar and talk to whom you want."

I don't like this class, but I kind of like her because, though a bit more assertive, she's approximately as helpless as I would be in front of a disinterested mass of community college students.